"Friends"

Maybe there's no point in having friends. It always seems to end badly. For that matter, it always seems to end. 

Over the course of 17 years, my longest friendship has been about 4 years total, with a 2 year period where we didn't talk or see each other, with my currently only friend Alex.

You would think that after years of friendship with a cousin, something as stupid as a cake topper wouldn't matter, but apparently, it does.

I never thought anything about it when, while preparing for my wedding, my cousin(G) handed me a cake topper and said something along the lines of "I'm never gonna use it." (She had broke it off with her fiance months ago.)

Fast forward to two months after my wedding. I had added a picture of old wedding supplies(Mostly ribbon and bubbles) to a facebook group to sell.

Her sister asks nicely if she can have a ring pillow, which was in the picture, she bought her son to use in my wedding(He ended up not being in it at all). I said okay, and then put it away to give to her the next time I see her, which will probably a different cousin's baby shower.

Then G messages me saying she wants the cake topper(Not in the picture) back, and comments the same thing on the picture less than a minute later. I had gotten rid of it right after the wedding though, and now she says I owe her $10.

Maybe I would be a little less upset over it all if:
She wasn't so mean about it. She said it completely rudely.I wasn't 97% sure she said I could have it, not borrow it.
I didn't know that her mom only paid $5 for it.(She told me when she first got it)

Now it seems like my only options are:
Give her $10 just to try to keep the peace(Which won't actually keep the peace because my husband will be mad it me.)

Give her $5 because that's what she paid for it.

Or give her nothing because I'm pretty sure she gave it to me.

I hate confrontation. I hate causing a scene, and especially don't want to at a friends baby shower. But I also hate being walked on...

What would you do in my situation?

Feeling stupid..

This is something I never want my kids to experience, though I'm sure they will. I just hope it will never be because of me. What made me write this is bubbles. Sitting at my mom's house at 11:30 at night, staring, glaring, and blowing bubbles at my husband. Between this sentence and the last, I walked home with his promise to come home soon. (I always write in my notebook first, then type it.)

As I was blowing bubbles, I held the bubble wand up to the air conditioner to see if it would blow bubbles. (It didn't) This led to me wondering if bubbles lasted longer in hot or cold conditions. I was going to ask my husband, my brother-in-law, and my youngest sister what they thought the answer was, but quickly dismissed the idea, deciding it was stupid and I would sound stupid for asking.

I've felt this a lot, despite the saying "There are no stupid questions..". I'm often too scared to ask something, because someone might think it, and I by connection, am stupid. I don't like showing people my writing, drawings, my thought, anything I do, all because I'm afraid they'll think I'm stupid. I don't even like sharing these things with my husband. This is not good behavior. I don't want to teach my kids that this is okay by doing it myself. This is a habit I need to break before I even have kids, before I pass it to them and they start feeling stupid just for wanting to learn, to know something new. There is nothing wrong with asking things just to know.

"Because" is not a real answer to adults, why should we tell kids that it is? I'm sure I'll use 'because' as an answer when I have a two-year-old who won't stop asking "Why?" to everything, but I shouldn't.

I never want my kids to feel stupid, or embarrassed, or weird for asking a question. No one ever should. They should just be happy they're learning something new.